The long October, a new Ponderance

Live Oct. 24 - GVCFA 

This has been one of those clusters of time where big things happen and there isn’t really even a way to gauge how much it impacted. To see Barack Obama elected was something I never thought I’d witness in my youthful days, and not for the reasons the media is obsessed with. I know it meant a lot to me to see this, as halfway through the minute after MSNBC announced he had won I was calling all my family quite emotional. That happened. It was beautiful.

Now here in the whirlpool or resilient aftermath, whatever it’s called. Things have been quaking a bit. I’m listening to old music and catching up on some long overdue chores, generally putting things into categories and then evaluating each and every one. Like: for instance: music. The album of songs I’ve been playing live is getting to the point of “ok, well, let’s put it out!”… though I’d like to have a sudden revelation and record another song or two with it. The other albums are floundering, and have taken far too long to put together. But it’s all organization at this point… a lot of the material is there… just waiting to be shaped up.

And then there is Aaron Ross’ new project, The Heirs Of Mystery. That album is almost done. A trio: Aaron singing playing guitar, Cody Feiler on electric guitar and backup vocals, me on cello and backup vocals. It’s a fun mix, it’s a good mix, it’s the kind of mix that doesn’t happen often, musically or personally… I really admire and respect those guys on all levels and I think that what we end up putting out, such as this last Sunday at the Crazy Horse Saloon in downtown Nevada City, while the sweaty pre-election crowd sat waitingwise under the redlights hearing for the first time… I think it is good. It is good music.

So tomorrow evening downtown Nevada City again, playing cello for an art opening at the Mekka… will be an interesting thing… fun I hope. And lately that’s what I mean, just a constant waterfall of these types of opportunities, crossing paths with really cool people. Nevada City has opened a bit, and yet…

now winter is upon us in it’s own way

and who knows… I just feel that of course, as always, as usual, it is not enough to be sitting here waiting for the next page to turn, waiting for the blind spot to become defogged, and perhaps even waiting for some approval to crop up out of the ether, because you know, we all want that. And, as it is shown, we are all getting there, older, and wiser, and closer to our fate, whatever it may be.

So, in short, things roll forward. I’m moving this more into journal form again by the way. I don’t really mind if it offends anyone that I shall tell of my days and nights and life in a truly vain manner on these pages. It’s what it is. I don’t need no excuses…

“The darkness has got the best of us… there’s a darkness in this town that’s got us too…
they can’t touch me now… you can’t touch me now… they aint goin’ to do to me what I watched them do to you… ” – Independence Day you should know perhaps who by

So yes, thanks in the air, the full fall leaves weighting down just enough. Enough passing by in a blur to become one with each exhale, the days. The sharpness of breath, the long-ness of the night. The books to read, the family to see, the projects to complete. The holy arena of reflection. It always happens, thank goodness.

Ambition is the answer to the vanity that tears me apart. I know I want to do more, and I believe that it will come about, the restless dreams of each and every night meaning something, meaning that indeed there is meaning. Simple tasks like homework pull me into two halves, the perfectly numb and the perfectly distraught. That’s where I’m at… You?

No, I haven’t been drinking. I just get this from the crisp air, from being on the cusp of change. From being a part of this second that said: write.

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