Tag: rant

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Just as I started getting busy with writing blog posts it all fell off a cliff. Not sure why, but I feel a conflict about it.

Mostly the conflict would just be that I want to have things to share with the ethereal internet, new shows and rad news and all that cool making stuff. Honestly I just don’t right now. Have that much. To say.

I’ve been in a period of transition. I’ve become accustomed to not expecting too much. I’ve been not enthralled with the music world in general. It all has added up.

Transition just being more work. Time less cloudy.

Accustomed to not expecting too much meaning that well, I haven’t been super involved or am not receiving a ton of feedback/awesome news on the music front so like, ok. If what they say about successful people dealing with many many failures than I am sure to be super successful soon! Music blogs ignore me, venues don’t write me back, and festival submissions rejected. It’s been rough, if I’m honest. But (thankfully?) it’s to the point where I’m a bit numb about it. I am too stubborn or full of belief to really accept or believe that it means the music isn’t GOOD per se. It’s just not landing smoothly. Um. I don’t know. Whatever the reason, be it that I don’t jive well with the contemporary indie-music thing, be it that it is not produced well enough, be it that it hella sucks, there’s a whole lotta nothing going on. So I’ll just admit that. Yes it bums me out. Yes it leads to a bit of a personal crisis. No I don’t feel sorry for myself.

Not enthralled with music world in general. I just don’t love where music is at right now. It’s all so major key and irreverent. It’s all so brightly colored raybans and skinny jeans. It all feels like it would fit well in a gap commercial. Not all. But so much of it. There are cracks in its armor. But it’s hard to be doing really passionate wild loud music right now.

When we play out though it’s not hard at all. People respond. I’m glad to have found a drummer to play shows with, Tripp Beam. I feel that when we play it is awesome.

I’ve been attempting to record some video takes of songs real raw. But man it’s hard. The second the record button is pressed my brain can’t process words and then, sadly, I have control over the edit and I decide I look dumb and no-one will ever see these takes. But soon I will get it all straight. And I’ll be recording live raw takes of old and new songs and putting them out on the fly.

So like… that’s it. I guess you could say that more is to come. I guess you could probably bet on it. Hope this post isn’t a downer. It’s just honest. I say onward. I say on to more and better and music and thank you. Thank YOU for reading. I will talk with you soon, I hope.

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Looking East, North Fork Yuba River 

Some of you may have noticed that over on the page for “Midnight Door” I am now allowing you to listen to the whole album. Yay! Enjoy!! Let me know how you feel about this. I always love feedback.

Also, I imported into this site my blog that was used for traveling the states a couple years back. What that means is just that in the archives are all kinds of writings that I had previously kept separate from this site. I don’t really see the point though, of keeping this site “impersonal”. I have tried to to some extent, but, be forewarned: I no longer really care whether it is my persona or not, if it is cool, or not, et cetera. If you like the music, that is all that really matters.

I can always label my posts “personalisms” and then you’ll know. Yeah.

So on that note, March is here and the daffodils are cautiously blooming. My brother Nate came to visit this weekend which was rad. He is so great to hang out with, and he got me out of the house. I really love the rapport we have together, all us brothers.

My life has felt busy but also fulfilling lately. It has been difficult to get much recording done, as our small little one bedroom apartment is currently in painting frenzy mode, as Kate is getting ready for a show which opens this weekend. That is fine by me though. It can be good to lay off, let the ideas sort of settle, and then go again, in terms of writing.

Also, a sort of revelation today… was listening to A Very Serious Conversation today and there was a discussion of the state of the recording industry these days. In short, they talked about how major labels are screwed, no news there, but what strikes me about it is two things, both sort of tunnel vision so forgive that…

1. Major labels are not “Bad” per se, and in some ways it is sad that the industry is so desperately affected right now. It means less rock ‘n roll, no matter which way you look at it. Now, whether that rock and roll is crappy, commercial, fake, overblown, horrid, et cetera, is certainly debatable… but what it means for the sphere of music is that less people strive for a music career, which is sad, and that less money will be put into (this has already happened) promising artists. If any.

2. I personally am going to take this revelation to focus a lot less, if at all, on the ultimate goal of “getting signed”. I’ve always had this resolution in the back of my mind, and have legitimately embraced my independence. For better or for worse. But, honestly, if the goal is to simply play and share music with as many people as possible, to give something to the world, without the faux and ill disguised intention of “getting signed”, I personally will be a lot better off.

Yes, obviously, I want to, and plan on making a living from music. And I would certainly hope that I am continuously as blessed and lucky as I have been to be able to write songs, play with people, record, make my own albums. It is a joy that completes me. But this doesn’t really change anything in that sense… in fact it makes me more likely to get on with it and do it!

Really, am I not better off accepting the obvious, which is that I’m on my own in terms of promotion and marketing? And that, in being in that state, that I have freedom to make it whatever I so choose?

I really love and appreciate everybody that has supported me in this. You know, every so often I get a comment about the music that I make that makes me feel so honored and fulfilled. Last night Kat played some songs on KVMR… and its like… thank you. What more do I want? This is it. I want… I should say I would like for this music to echo about, and maybe give people the (life saving) meaning that music has given me in my life.

OK, this is ranty… but you get the point. Onward. More music. Less phony ideals.