Tag: Music

on by

been around lately, a good weekend out in what LA is, a museum, some galleries and hundreds having fun, electric evenings. I suppose summer is here.

Also I played guitar tonight.

REVERIES
REVERIES
#musiceveryday 149 - round trip
Loading
/

on by

started as called broken

I wanted to see if I could make a new age track, and was being ironic and cynical. and then i actually really liked how this turned, might do a few more. here’s for you to do what you can with it, like, close yr eyes and sit awhile. or party hard.

and an 8 minute meditation track gets in on the everyday action.

REVERIES
REVERIES
#musiceveryday 145 - unbroken
Loading
/

on by

made three songs this weekend
all continuing from the previous, and kind exploring what hides in one chord, even though that sounds more thought out than it was
oh and three different instruments: guitar, then cello, then ukelele

REVERIES
REVERIES
#musiceveryday 141 - see what i see
Loading
/

on by

I’ve been making music everyday! But not specifically for my music everyday project. But with that spirit in mind I’m going to post excerpts from what I’ve been working on for the last few days…

REVERIES
REVERIES
#musiceveryday - 88 - true radicals
Loading
/

on by

I just felt like putting this up tonight.

It’s a fine Summer night. Is it the end of Summer? That’s what I hear. Me and Cinco are tending to the empty home while the rest of the pack is off at FYF Fest. Slowdive is playing. Hmm. I wish I was there. It was sold out.

I’ve mostly finished up on a big buffet of music I’m going to serve up in the near future. I’m happy with the work done and mostly the feeling of the songs.

Los Angeles for me: still and ever just past my fingertips somehow. It’s there, I push at it, brush it aside like curtains. But I have yet to pass through.

It’s a good city after all, and there are just so many surfaces you could attach your mirrors to here. Everyone is beautiful and larger than life, even if just in their own minds.

There aren’t country lanes, nature revery is rare, and the general balance leans one way and then the next, undecided. It’s menacing and inviting at once.

Blah blah poetic yada yada. Meaning: I’m here, making music in my dear studio with my dear cellos and my dear thoughts and I’m not on that damn stage at this damn point in this damn city.

That’s my check in.

Hope this version of this song fits with your time and place.

REVERIES
REVERIES
Valley Of Gold - Instrumental Version
Loading
/

on by 1 Comment

I’m playing a show this Wednesday, May 21 at Malo in Silver Lake, Los Angeles. It’s really been toooooo long since I’ve played a show and I’m super grateful to Surely Lorraine and Kondo Exurbia for including me.

I’ve been working up new songs because what happens when you don’t play is you forget ALL your lyrics and when you get on stage your brain turns off completely its ability to recall such information and since there likely won’t be a teleprompter it’s better to get it memorized!

I decided I wanted to do a cover because covers are fun for everyone especially when in my case all this material is new and I don’t know what works and what doesn’t. Some songs work live and are kinda lame on an album, and vice versa. So I thought about doing “I’m On Fire” which I’ve always played on the cello but I thought perhaps I’d think of something not done so often (Bruce’s popularity has risen yet again and to my relief his street cred is much higher than I think it used to be… I remember people would ask who my favorite musicians were and I’d say Bruce and they’d think I was joking, which is absurd! Because, well, you know, he’s the best songwriter perhaps ever.)

ANYWAYS so I was letting my mind wander and I was walking down Sunset Blvd. and I happen to live really close to where the show is Wednesday and I realized that the “Elliott Smith wall” is right next door to the venue.

Which is weird and for me kind of eerie and moving because:

• Elliott Smith influenced my life and especially my identity as a songwriter probably more than any other musician. Either/Or changed my life in so many ways. If I had to put it into words (poorly) I would say because he made me realize that beauty and melancholia are not necessarily taboo to all people. People love his music rightly so and it’s sad but not sad at all because it is just aching and oozing with so much life, and feeling FOR life. I’ve never written anything as beautiful as his, but it certainly gave me a context for where my music fit in to the world. And I don’t know if my music is especially sad, I don’t think so and I never set out to make it that way or any way, but people have often told me that in one way or another. So it makes sense, the kinship I felt, musically.

• Elliott Smith kinda really, as silly as it sounds, or naive, is the reason I moved to Portland. Again, I just figured “if music like that is being made there, I need to be there.” And so I moved there, and I walked Elliott Ave. in Ladd’s Addition many many times, often on my way to the Red & Black where I played my favorite shows in that city. And I was enveloped in the rain and the comfort Portland is and it was a beautiful, beautiful time.

• Elliott Smith moved to LA and here I am. And I don’t know where “From a Basement on the Hill” was specifically recorded, but I ended up on a hill in Los Angeles and I never, ever ever would have guessed that. And I’m still making the music I do, for what it’s worth.

• I’m still mad at Elliott Smith for dying. Yeah, I know he “killed himself” which makes me more mad at him… but there’s some doubt and I’ve always felt how if it is true that he stabbed himself in the chest with a kitchen knife there’s so much sadness around that act and everything surrounding his death that truly I can barely listen to his music anymore. Which is a shame. To be clear he wasn’t my hero. But he was a beautiful inspiration.

And so, for what it’s worth I’m going to play an Elliott Smith cover on Wednesday, by his wall, and maybe some closure will come about and maybe I’ll blow it and forget the lyrics! Who knows! It’s unknowable.

It would be nice to see you there, if you are in the neighborhood…

on by

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnIw_vmPT7g

This one is all yours now. Just an impromptu recording I decided to do as I was working on mixing for my upcoming albums.

This one is a little rare for me in that the bittersweet-ness (not new) is mixed with a little mean-ness (new!)…

Backstory? Hmmm. Well I just wrote it quickly after going through an old box of memories and realizing that some states of mind are better left behind as far as possible… It’s good to forgive and to move forward but sometimes too it’s good to expunge and exonerate yr own feelings.

on by

A while ago I made my girlfriend Katy an album. She has a certain playlist she’s created for painting and has talked about the perfect music for that kinda thing… meditative and non-disruptive, but interesting enough maybe to be listenable over and over. So obviously I created a  polka/deep-house mashup. And that didn’t fit the bill. So I tried this.

Just a live cello performance using some looping, and a very brutish beat to pull it all along.

It’s long, and it’s a pretty good quality mp3 if you are into that sort of thing.

This is the first of three parts to that album.

REVERIES
REVERIES
Music For Painting To, Part 1 - Unfold
Loading
/

on by

Today I hope I can inspire myself to put on a few sweaters and brave my little studio. I actually really need to, I’ve got a show tomorrow and two the following weekend. And in the midst of that I’ve got some other “real world” responsibilities that are pretty pressing, needing my every bit of extra attention.

I will be working on this ambient set that I’ve been performing for a long while now. Beats + Cello + Effects.

The Process?

I write the beats first thing. I’ve always been a fan of big beats and while I can’t say I am any kind of expert, I enjoy the act of creating beats. I don’t use canned beats (Canned beats are free-to-use beats that somebody already wrote and recorded a sample of, for anyone to use).

Most of the “songs”are quite free-form, and I enjoy that freedom. It’s like electronica/jazz, that openness. But a lot of times I will, no wait, I always decide on a key initially, whether it be b minor or C Major or what-have-you. Sometimes if I can think that far in advance I’ll go modal, though really if anything I play in Dorian and tend, sadly, to not explore the other modes too much. Some of these “songs” over the years have in fact developed their own melodies or themes, and so, in that sense they are not completely improvised. But after those things are out of the way (beats + key + theme) I just see what happens.

The most difficult thing about that in a live context is self editing. It doesn’t take much at all for one of these songs to turn into 30 minute self-aggrandizing tombs. It’s extremely important to try and think quickly and move forward quickly, in my opinion. I’ve seen far too many musicians wanking over how awesome they are for too long and I don’t want to be that guy. A helpful thing for me to keep in mind is that less IS indeed more. In fact that is sort of a mantra I repeat over and over as I perform (less is more… less is more…). I think Miles Davis is the master of that and everything else, and I can’t count how many times his face has popped into my head while playing as a way to remind me to let things breathe. It’s a startling vision that snaps me back sometimes.

That’s the process. As technology has changed the process has changed, the performance has changed. My first attempts at doing things this way was in Portland playing some random loft parties. I had my trusty Korg Electribe ER-1 and a delay pedal. I played loud and feedback was rampant. It was great!

Music device fiends: My favorite favorite thing about the Electribe is its “audio in” feature, which is hard to describe in words, but allows you to create a rhythmic pattern for your external input to actually be outputted… So that the notes I play on my cello beep through with the beats in a set pattern. It is a nice sci-fi sound that makes it sound like more than one instrument is playing. I am bummed that so far the electribe is the only device I’ve found that does this. Even software like Ableton doesn’t have this feature. You can hear that effect in “Everybody Is Dreaming“, it’s the synth sounding rhythmic noise going on throughout, especially audible for the verses.

The Electribe is still with me, even though I don’t really need it. I’ve found a way to integrate it via midi into my current setup. My setup is not all that different now, I just use my laptop with Ableton Live + Electribe + Effects Pedal + Keyboard Synth + Launchpad.

Using a laptop live does have its drawbacks… 1. software glitches and computer malfunctions (they happen, I can attest) 2. It’s your laptop, which, in my case, is the most valuable thing I own second to my cello, so that’s not ideal to have on a stage at a club, but in the end it takes a solo act to levels probably impossible otherwise.

So yeah, time to stop writing and go practice! Maybe I’ll record some snippets and post. Maybe!

on by 1 Comment

Life has been rolling along. All the sudden it’s May. It’s not even May, it’s the middle of May. Wow.

That slip of the tongue of time has happened (for me) because I’ve been buried in music. Culminations occur tomorrow night, Thursday at the downtown art walk in Los Angeles, where I’ll be playing some jams at the Annex Gallery. Basically I’m playing cello, mixing it up with beats, and making rad action happen all the time. It’s cool, playing music in the center of one of the biggest cities in the world. It’s why I’m here.

On the other fronts, I’ve been writing new songs and nostalging about old ones, culminating in at least a couple new albums by the end of this (very busy) Summer.

Life is good, my fingers have callouses, I’m deeply inspired.

Still awaiting, I suppose, the big break, but I’ll just keep making this music, like I always have, and that will do it, I think.

Let me know when I should come to your town and play a gig.

I sincerely hope you are well. Thanks for checking in. You know I’ll post some new music here when I feel it is deserving of your ears…

In all things, do good, be well. Etc.

Luke.

on by

B sides are always around in my boxes. I have a lot of ideas that eventually would lead to a melody, but sometimes, like in the case of this one, will never be duplicated because the performance is so unique.

So here you go, so amazingly uncut or edited:

Here Is Enlightmenent

permalink to this post: http://midnightdoor.com/word/?p=558

I was playing around with vocal range in this one, total Mariah Carey inspired (kidding), it’s pretty rambling for sure. I’ve got a “holidays” ish song coming next week, so stay tuned!

REVERIES
REVERIES
Attack of the besides
Loading
/

on by

Spent the weekend sorting out dramas in my world and also putting the final touches on the new Cello album JUNEAUREVOIR.

Mixing cello can be pretty rough. It’s so full of bass, obviously, but the more you pull back on that bass, the more tinny the high ends seem.

Also, it’s one of those instruments you just want to cover with the frosting of reverb. But I’ve found that it is very very easy to go overboard on cello reverb. It has its own resonance which gets lost the more stacks of reverb you throw down.

As far as dramas of my life go? Well, let’s just say that plans, even when huge and pivotal, the big boulders of plans, can slip out of place and wreak havoc. More to come on that later.

If your are interested in how I record the cello (ie you are a recording nerd like me), read on!

I’m sure some people have figured this out, and that nicer microphones can make it sound great. I have figured my own “method” out on this last album. It is simple, not profound, and is as follows:

I take my nicer mic, an Audio Technica that is powered, a fairly small condenser mic, it looks sort of like this. It’s not that one. Anyways, it has a full bodied sound and also picks up the “icy” part of the cello, those highs where the bow moves across the string. I put that in front, facing the bridge, about six inches from it, straight on, or as much as possible.

I don’t believe in mic’ing the f-hole. Too many fluctuations in tone and none of that bow sound action. I happen to like the bow sounds, even on “perfect” classical recordings. Or, I should say, especially on “perfect” classical recordings. My favorite recording of the Bach Suites is Pablo Casals’ very early recordings of them. One take, wax cylinder, lots of imperfections, no retakes, lots of real natural beauty. Perfect and authentic sounding to me. You can really hear the bow moving across the string. I like it.

And then, and this is odd, but it works, I decided that it is ok to record with a pickup if the pickup picks up some tones that a mic just can’t. So I used my Shadow Nanoflex Cello Pickup and recorded the two, mic and pickup, together. The blend of the tones allows for a more full tone. I tend to roll off the low end on the Audio Technica, and also to roll off the high end of the pickup. Low end of the mic is full of hum, high end of the pickup is full of hiss. But they compliment each other nicely.

So what you end up with is like, if you had your ear right up against the cello PLUS you have a prime spot seated in front of the cello. I like the blend of the two.

on by

And why should I?

It’s pretty much an inner circle clique gathering once a year to pat themselves on the back. The radio stations are owned by the same people putting out the albums, so where is the competition. We all know there is no innovation there.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Coldplay and a couple of other past Grammy nominees, and they are the nicest, coolest, warmest people you’ll ever meet. It’s nothing personal against the inner circle. But I’m just so sick of it.

What I’m sick of is, in a nutshell: you won’t watch the grammies and discover any music you haven’t already heard force fed to you millions of times before. The industry is collapsing under its own weight, and they go on toasting the same tired formulas.

Now that I write this though, I am not afraid to admit that I am terribly out of the loop. I’m also too old for the grammies, and have no expendable income to spend on money anymore. So I guess it’s not up to me! Which is fine.

My point is: let’s have a yearly awards ceremony that actually salutes the innovative music that has come about this year. Let’s take the airwaves back. Let’s push the real music that we care about out beyond the shadows of indie-land. The music industry is seriously in need of a breath of fresh air (which I think we will be seeing in the next couple of years… I can kind of sense it…).

That’s all. Not that it matters what I think. I wish I cared. I love music… I should care about the Grammies… right?

on by

Luke Janela - Live @ Sac State 

I’m probably not going to code a photo gallery in here anytime soon, especially when I have Flickr!

I’ve finally put together a small and ever growing gallery of music related pics here.

Post your photos from my shows here.

Thanks!

on by

Dec 14, 2008 
I’ve been working like mad lately and in my late night hours I’ve been burning through my music list. One of the tracks from my old band “The Key” came up and I decided I’m really proud of this whole album, especially in retrospect. Especially in retrospect because I wrote this song about the approach of the US warplanes at the beginning of the Iraq war from the point of view of an innocent kid. Maybe my age, maybe in Baghdad… I still think it fits. The sounds at the end are from a giant (80,000 plus people) anti-war rally on the eve of the war. Before that scumbag W. pulled the trigger. Listen and enjoy…

In other news, I’m super busy in life and otherwise.

This Thursday I’m playing a show in Sacramento with Aaron Ross & The Heirs Of Mystery at a new club. Go to his myspace page for more details…

After that I’m driving down to Los Angeles to do some cello recording with Huff This! They’re putting together their album and I’m super glad to be able to contribute perhaps.

In the meantime, good progress is made on the solo cello album, the new cello/beats/vocals album. Those two will probably be released at the same time, in early spring.

Yes. That is what is. Hope you’re doing well…

REVERIES
REVERIES
Nightfall, Waterfall
Loading
/

on by

So this song is totally flooding your inbox now if you are subscribed to the podcast. I had a delay in my website being working, so, thanks to Tyler Booth at Stephouse.net, things are back in action!

Now that I’m playing these songs out live a lot, the recording of the new album is coming along… more to come, but for now, Candle:

[display_podcast]

on by

Washington DC Boys Choir

“Be On Your Way” off Midnight Door was one of the songs that I worked on over and over again in the mixdown. I recorded it while on the road, and there was a lot that I wanted to “fix”, but there was a lot that I wanted to leave exactly as I recorded it that very first magical time.

The song was recorded in Washington DC, while we were staying in an apartment there. It was a moody place and time, and a good one, there were thunderstorms every afternoon.

Also, my guitar had just been stolen out of a campsite in Virginia Beach, which was tragic. I had that guitar for 10 years and really really loved it. So I had made the odd decision to buy a new guitar (using up my reserves for sure) because I couldn’t handle the loss, and because I couldn’t handle traveling without one.

So this song was the very first song I recorded with that guitar. In this version you hear only cello however, it was a quick mix I did, trying to ascertain whether the cello sans beats was “good” enough for the record. I like this mix, but you can hear the beats through the headphones, so it never did make it to the record.

Enjoy, and thanks for listening!

[display_podcast]

Listen to the album version here.

PS – The picture there is the boys choir in Washington DC that I recorded and is featured in the ‘bridge’ section of the song “Fireflies” off Midnight Door.

on by

I found out, naively, that I can record with, hold the phones, TWO microphones at once. I didn’t have to buy a mixer or anything. Well, I already had what I needed.

And so, the blueprint for the cello & voice only album is laid out: two mics, live recordings.

This song was recorded as a test of my setup, the room, the mics, positions, et cetera, and I am quite happy with how it turned out. The mic on my cello is big and right, and the vocals (hint of sick still in my voice, I hate recording when I’m sick but I can’t stop myself) are the ever faithful SM57 at work.

So, preface this song with: a test. Lyrics… not quite worked out, but I will keep some of them and rework the whole thing. I wanted to give you a little something, as I have been far from the external world lately in the land of illness. But I’m back again!

REVERIES
REVERIES
Two Of Them
Loading
/

on by

Being sick is fun. I take it as a sign to slow down, stop what I am doing. Rest.

My brain has been on overload too fast too much, not enough getting done, never enough getting done. So here I am, in my bed, writing on a laptop.

Music has been coming along though. It’s funny how it always takes a bit of chopping and reworking, no matter how long you do it. As I get more experience with recording music I realize that it is a good thing to be hyper critical of the end product.

on by

It has been a long busy and good week for me. And yet, I have not shared much music. I like the beginnings of this song, and especially I like the way that just cello and voice is going to work on the just cello and voice album I’ll be releasing this year.

REVERIES
REVERIES
Reeds
Loading
/

on by

Last second I know, but tomorrow night I shall be playing a little cello ambient music for Kate’s art opening in Sacramento.

Practicing tonight, working it out. Here is a short sampling of what might happen… Here I am playing the cello (with my hands) and the beatbox (with my feet).

REVERIES
REVERIES
Last Things First
Loading
/

on by

Looking East, North Fork Yuba River 

Some of you may have noticed that over on the page for “Midnight Door” I am now allowing you to listen to the whole album. Yay! Enjoy!! Let me know how you feel about this. I always love feedback.

Also, I imported into this site my blog that was used for traveling the states a couple years back. What that means is just that in the archives are all kinds of writings that I had previously kept separate from this site. I don’t really see the point though, of keeping this site “impersonal”. I have tried to to some extent, but, be forewarned: I no longer really care whether it is my persona or not, if it is cool, or not, et cetera. If you like the music, that is all that really matters.

I can always label my posts “personalisms” and then you’ll know. Yeah.

So on that note, March is here and the daffodils are cautiously blooming. My brother Nate came to visit this weekend which was rad. He is so great to hang out with, and he got me out of the house. I really love the rapport we have together, all us brothers.

My life has felt busy but also fulfilling lately. It has been difficult to get much recording done, as our small little one bedroom apartment is currently in painting frenzy mode, as Kate is getting ready for a show which opens this weekend. That is fine by me though. It can be good to lay off, let the ideas sort of settle, and then go again, in terms of writing.

Also, a sort of revelation today… was listening to A Very Serious Conversation today and there was a discussion of the state of the recording industry these days. In short, they talked about how major labels are screwed, no news there, but what strikes me about it is two things, both sort of tunnel vision so forgive that…

1. Major labels are not “Bad” per se, and in some ways it is sad that the industry is so desperately affected right now. It means less rock ‘n roll, no matter which way you look at it. Now, whether that rock and roll is crappy, commercial, fake, overblown, horrid, et cetera, is certainly debatable… but what it means for the sphere of music is that less people strive for a music career, which is sad, and that less money will be put into (this has already happened) promising artists. If any.

2. I personally am going to take this revelation to focus a lot less, if at all, on the ultimate goal of “getting signed”. I’ve always had this resolution in the back of my mind, and have legitimately embraced my independence. For better or for worse. But, honestly, if the goal is to simply play and share music with as many people as possible, to give something to the world, without the faux and ill disguised intention of “getting signed”, I personally will be a lot better off.

Yes, obviously, I want to, and plan on making a living from music. And I would certainly hope that I am continuously as blessed and lucky as I have been to be able to write songs, play with people, record, make my own albums. It is a joy that completes me. But this doesn’t really change anything in that sense… in fact it makes me more likely to get on with it and do it!

Really, am I not better off accepting the obvious, which is that I’m on my own in terms of promotion and marketing? And that, in being in that state, that I have freedom to make it whatever I so choose?

I really love and appreciate everybody that has supported me in this. You know, every so often I get a comment about the music that I make that makes me feel so honored and fulfilled. Last night Kat played some songs on KVMR… and its like… thank you. What more do I want? This is it. I want… I should say I would like for this music to echo about, and maybe give people the (life saving) meaning that music has given me in my life.

OK, this is ranty… but you get the point. Onward. More music. Less phony ideals.

on by

This version of Porcelain Backdrop (track 8 off of ‘Midnight Door’) is really only slightly different than the version that made it onto the album. I have to admit that the difference is very subtle. You see I had grown slightly weary of… not of the sound… but of *relying* on the dual vocals thing that I blatantly borrowed from Elliott Smith.

When Elliott Smith recorded ‘Either/Or’ and other albums, he often doubled up on his vocals… ie., he recorded the same vocals singing the same words and notes twice. For me what it did is made hushed vocals louder and more present. It also accentuates rather than avoids the very natural inclination that humans have to being not perfectly “in tune”. When the two slightly imperfect vocals cross paths, they create a very human sound, since, when two real human beings sing together, they tend to be slightly “out of tune”, and thus, they sound HUMAN. (I rant because so much music that you hear is not really people’s voices, but computer “fixed” vocals).

When I record cello for other people’s projects, I like to double up, and record two versions of the same melodies to be played at once, so that the sound of my less than computer cellos adds up to a human sounding orchestral type of thing.

So I got addicted to doing the same thing with vocals. Which is what you’ll find on the original version of Porcelain Backrop off the album. But I almost released it with only one vocal, so that you could hear the sort of rawness of the lyrics, against the very deluxe backdrop of sound.

Porcelain Backdrop was named so because… well, it kind of just stuck. I did however, record that song after returning home from my epic road trip. I was trying to write a song, which is something I never do, I usually say: “I’m inspired… NOW is the time to write a song”…. and I wanted to write about how grateful I was for finding
1. answers to some of the more simple problems facing me regarding moroseness (“I think that I can see through… the shortening of the days”),
and
2. a person who really wanted to share with me in the experience of living in the way that Kate did on our road trip. (“you saved my boat from sinking… you made my nights complete”)

Without further ado, Porcelain Backdrop as never heard before with one vocal track instead of dueling:
[display_podcast]

Remember: Porcelain Backdrop Live
Also: Listen to the album version

on by

Dear Nevada City,

Last night I was out in your wilds and down at the old Chief Crazy Horse bar. Casual Fog was playing and the room was full of young people, and old people, the bartenders were frantically busy. It was an electric night.

It reminded me so much of the first night I spent here, New Year’s Eve a couple years back, when we stumbled accidentally into Cooper’s to watch the Rolling Stones cover band. That night was so invigorating. Kate and I were so new to everything, the world, apartments, a town, a home, all seemed so far away but necessary. In Cooper’s that night the scene was crowded with people, so young and together and excited about music that it felt like it could have been a scene from any big city in the United States, not some little tiny town up in the Sierra Foothills. It swayed us to move here, we were within throwing distance of San Francisco, Sacramento was there if we needed it. We could continue our road trip somehow with a stop along the way, in the last destination our road trip had taken us: Nevada City.

We stopped in Nevada City in the first place because it was on the way to Auburn, where Kate would settle for a couple of weeks at her parent’s house in time for Thanksgiving. Most campsites had long since closed for the season, and we just saw on the map National Forest campsites along the North Fork of the Yuba River, which meant: open to camp. We spent one night there on the Yuba, and then drove down into Nevada City. I remember reading about the town as we had always done on the trip from our guidebook. It said a lot about how many bookstores there were. How charming the town was. How it was a haven for bohemian artists and poets from the 60’s.

We found it to be pleasant in November. It felt like an island in the trees. I could sense the rest of California around it, which made me happy. We had coffee from the Mekka, walked around the little streets. We got some groceries and went to spend our last night of the trip camping on the shores of the reservoir up Hwy. 20.

That was a sad night. All the moves we knew so well, gathering wood, preparing dinner out in the chilly open air on the campstove. Snuggling up in the back of the truck, getting up to the crisp morning.

We moved here to Nevada City because of that New Year’s Eve. We had been looking for a place to live for a month, unable to pull the trigger on going anywhere it seemed… San Francisco was too expensive and too big. Portland too familiar. Mendocino we had done, and it was the smallness of that place that made us leave in the first place.

Luck made us find a charming little apartment on Deer Creek. Bohemian and old, dirty and cold, but charming all the same. It would be our art studio/recording studio. We would have all kinds of friends our age, they would stop by to visit us since we were right in town. We would find jobs and walk across the bridge to them.

It was so hard though. I spent four months unemployed. How I survived I don’t know. It was depressing. And then I did get a crummy job waiting tables at a mediocre restaurant in town. I couldn’t even eat the greasy food, the tips weren’t that great. There was nothing glamorous about it. Not fine dining, not historical, just a place.

And I didn’t really meet people. We made a few good friends, but there was no getting in with the kids in this town. If you were a stranger here, you were just an outsider. You were mistaken to be here or you were somehow taking advantage of it by existing here. We’d go to a couple parties when Cody would invite us, but all we ever got asked is how we came to be here. From there it didn’t really matter. We weren’t from here.

I finished my album. I met another couple of really good friends, and got a new job at the extremely shoddy local paper. Things could have gone so well. I was ready to make podcasts and write stories and do great design. But any new voices couldn’t be heard at that paper. The “entertainment editor” was severely out of touch with reality, extremely uninspired, and closed off to the real music scene that was happening here. Such a sad waste of talent that place. Kate found a job at the cool hip gallery in town, but it quickly dissolved because of some very strange lack of communication. I hadn’t heard from the guy I had framed photographs for for months… out of the blue he just didn’t call. I still haven’t heard from him. All the promise of this town would go up the roller coaster, and then swoop down terribly.

I coped by taking long drives into the mountains. I missed Mendocino (and still do) terribly. We may not have had many friends, but at least they weren’t even there, anywhere to be found. In Nevada City there were so many people we could know, but the roller coaster always swooped back down.

Things rolled here and there. I recorded with some of the amazing musicians in this town. Truly there is real artistry coming out of this place, be it an after effect of the previous generation, the bonding of small town shared stories, the air, the river, the trees, I don’t know, but it is unique, thoughtful, intelligent, anti cool, refreshing. I know that it is because I play an instrument that is in demand, but that’s fine, I loved the opportunity to create with people.

Aaron Ross and Cody Coyote are so amazingly dear to me. Aaron is the most talented songwriter I have known personally, Cody is sweet, cool, and has such an amazing voice. Alela was kind and courteous for her recording session, Mariee a sweetheart and so modest. Joanna Newsom dancing to the Moore Brothers on a random Saturday night at Cooper’s. Dana kept calling me for recording sessions, hopefully he still will! Dan Elkin, so driven, talented, and passionate. David Torch a humble, incredible person. Jonathan Hischke, truly gifted, Neil Morgan, a person who I felt great affinity for in only 30 minutes of conversation. In other words… such an incredible group of people!

I was able to finish my album here. And when I did, Eric Dickerson helped me really cull it down, and inspired me in the process. I wanted to play. And I have, a little. I got a new job. Things feel better now.

And yet, last night, I just wanted you to know that I am so enamored with you, but feel that I will never truly know you Nevada City. Casual Fog encompasses everything I love about the town, a band of not just really talented people, but a group of some of the nicest people you’ll meet. I want it all to shine, I want something magical to come of this place, but dammit I want to be a part of it somehow. I want to FEEL like I belong.

There are so many blessings, I got to meet, thanks to Laura Brown, Gary Snyder! A life long dream. Just to meet him. And one day I’m up at his table in the house he built while he pours me coffee he brewed. Amazing.

There just is no permanence here. I don’t know what I’m missing. But I either want it all to come together in a hurry or I’ve got to get out. I feel like I’ve been courting you, Nevada City, for two years. And I’m waiting for something to happen, a sign. A glimmer.

I have a good job, I love it in fact. And yet it is not music. I have so many wonderful blessings all around me. I just wanted to write this. A sort of plea for connection. For things to make sense somehow. I want to in writing this snap out of the hazy in between that you’ve held me in. I feel like I’m inside a washing machine, being cleansed, abused, and spun around all at once. I want to either love you or hate you, either way, to take more chances, feel more alive.

So that’s that. I don’t know why exactly I wrote this. I just felt like I needed to. Thank you for everything, thank you for last night, and how beautiful it was. I almost don’t feel like a spectator sometimes in moments like that. People are coming together. They are hopeful and alive. They are creating amazing things. And that’s how it is.