No we haven’t found Walnut yet. We’ve hiked in a mile radius around the property, whistelled with different whistles, peered up trees with binoculars, put up flyers, put an ad on the radio and no go.

Its a loss because it means Walnut is hurt or was hurt or is at very least afraid and lost. Its a loss because I miss her every day and night. Its a loss because she was really representative of our new idyllic life… happy, sweet. I’ve never had something so precious and to have her just disappear… it makes me scared.

On the homefront we are both trying not to be ridiculously obsessed with it. I just finishd the mixes for You Are The Driver. Which I am considering calling something else. “Eskimo” maybe. or something like that. I think that I will release it under a moniker, “Drama Club” is to be the name of my electronic ‘band’. Or whatever. Who cares.

I do. I’m thinking so much on my music career. I hope I have the guts to do everything possible to get my stuff out there. Its hard to do… and its a lot if not everything about confidence, and the vision you have of yourself. Sometimes I get this hint of a vision of myself as this brilliant electronic/rock/songwriter/classical/composer/artist/photographer/carpenter person who is a visionary and held to his path and never waivered. Sometimes I feel like another dumb 20 something trying to not waste his time. I mean, is everyone like this to some extent? Is this stuff I’m creating, putting more hours of my life into than ANYTHING else, is it good enough? Et cetera. Thoughts like this on and on in the winter. on and on.

So I’m going to watch Harry Potter movie tonight. and drink Makers. next… next is next.